Penguins and People

Several years ago my husband and I took a cruise to Antarctica. This was not a gown and tux cruise. The ship was a converted scientific research vessel and accommodations were pretty basic.

The highlight of the trip for me (after surviving sailing the Drake Passage) was sitting up to my waist in the Antarctic summer snow watching penguins go about their daily lives.

Before disembarking to visit our first penguin rookery we were lectured on the rules. The rules were serious. The rules were not to be broken.

• Do not approach the penguins.
• Do not go within 20 feet of the penguins.
• Do not make noise.
• Respect the penguins.
• Play nice.

Our nostrils told us when we were close to a penguin rookery. The pink guano trails leading up and down the hillsides confirmed we had arrived.  Geared up in our waterproof pants and boots we headed off for the sight of a lifetime. Yes, who would think plodding through thigh-high snow accompanied by the distinct smell of guano to sit alone for 60 minutes and watch a parade of little Charlie Chaplins could be such a thrill.  Watching and thinking.

Penguins have never learned to fear man. Except for scientific observation stations they are unfamiliar with man. They have no reason to be afraid. Watching and thinking.

• The penguins knew we were there but did not bother with us.
• We left them alone and they left us alone.
• They recognized we meant them no harm. If we sat quietly for a long time they would walk comfortably close to us.
• The penguins kept to the same, guano stained tails.  They did not dirty the entire mountainside.
• When they fell down (they’re a little awkward on land) they got back up, wiped themselves off, and kept going.

What people can learn from penguins:

• Mutual respect. That’s what we practiced with the penguins.
• They were determined and respected their own environment.
• When you fall down (especially in your own mess), pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and waddle on.

Couldn’t the rest of the world learn a lot?

"Black and white is classic. You don't need red pants!"

If You Break, Fix It

If you break it, fix it or try to fix it. If you use the last one, replace it. That applies to home and the office.

We’ve all been in a rush, grabbed the carton of milk from the fridge to add a splash to our tea or coffee as we head to a meeting, only to see a dribble, drip, drip, into our travel mug. It barely changes the colour of our beverage. “Ugh! Who put an empty carton back in the fridge?” you demand, somehow misplacing your inside voice. Of course, you’re met by silence and innocent faces. Those gremlins are obviously at it again.

Still on a coffee quest you head to the office kitchen. Yep. Someone has taken the last cup and not taken the time to make a fresh pot. Is it time or consideration?

The frustrating and inconsiderate list goes on:

• You arrive at the photocopier to see it flashing a demand to feed it paper.  Worse, it’s flashing to feed it toner. Once again, someone left it in its annoying, flashing mode.  If you don’t know how to do some of these things, ask a person who does know how to change/fix/repair. I admit that, in the past, changing the toner was an unpleasant task.  I distinctly remember, after battling with a balky toner cartridge, a necessity for nail clippers and dry cleaner.
• Returning shopping carts falls into this category.  I’ve previously blogged about the frustration and inconsideration of leaving a cart in the parking lot, blocking access for others.  If you use it, return it. Simple.
• Does your home or office look like it’s having a contest to see how much trash can be compacted into one trash receptacle?  If you press really hard then one more apple core will fit. Or you could just change the bag.
• If you borrow someone’s car/truck/lawn mower/chain saw, before returning it (promptly), fill it up.
• The toilet is sending those subtle signs that it is considering an episode in the near future.  Leave quietly and it will be the responsibility of the next person.  Great idea. That happened in the home of one of my friends. Everyone thought someone else should deal with it.  I emerged from their washroom, sheepishly mumbling, “I think I broke your toilet.” The exchange of looks within the family told me that it wasn’t me, but an I’ll wait for someone else to do something about it situation.

You probably have your own frustrations of home and office if I leave quietly no one will know it was me situations. Add to my list.

And then there’s that one square of toilet tissue that someone left on the roll. One square! Technically it wasn’t empty therefore did not require replacing.  Change the toilet roll. It’s not rocket science. It’s considerate.

Be Nice to the Gym Newbies

This post was triggered by a comment from a toned, five- year- gym -attending friend. A couple of days into January she commented, ”Parking was awful at the gym today and I had to wait for an elliptical. It’s all those New Year resolution newbies. It’ll be back to normal by the second week in February.  They never last long.”

I’ve already talked about gym etiquette, Ten Easy Steps to Become That Annoying Gym Person . This post is about being nice to the gym newbies.  We’re all good at something (yes, we are!) but had to learn and progress. You may be an excellent driver now, but do you remember your first attempt at parallel parking?

I agree, the gym parking lot seems unusually full this time of year. Good for the new people. They’re making an effort. Try to imagine how uncomfortable some of them may feel. It’s like attempting to parallel park for the first time with an audience of professional racing car drivers.

• If someone seems unsure about gym protocol, ask if they would like some tips. Be friendly.
• Imagine the gym newbies feelings as they struggle to replace the weights and you casually pick up ones four times heavier. An encouraging smile is quite different from a superior smile. Be nice.
• The new gym member is wrapped in a bath sheet, trying to figure out how to maneuver into their undies unseen. Having to witness naked hair drying only adds to their discomfort. Keep naked strolls to a minimum. Be respectful.
• Let the new gym member know that it wasn’t easy for you when you first started working out. Well, was it?  Be encouraging.

I hope the gym parking lots stay full all year. I hope all the gym newbies become confident and comfortable. You can help: Be friendly. Be nice. Be respectful.  Be encouraging.

Kindness – it’s healthy and beautiful.

Ready. Set. Be kind.

Three Flowers, Three Sisters

Every month for the past three years my sister and I have sent flowers to our elder sister. They brightened the difficult days of her illness.  Very simple, just three flowers. Three flowers for three sisters.

On Friday I visited my ailing sister.  The three flowers had been delivered just a couple of days previously.  They were beautiful burgundy gerber daisies.  Two were upright and vibrant.  One was wilted and drooped.

Two days later my beautiful sister passed away.

At her request I gave the eulogy at her funeral. Is it strange to say that it was the most heart-breaking, but at the same time the most honoured thing, I have ever done?

As we enter a new year I wish for all of you joy, peace, and love. And flowers.

Three sisters.

Be the One

It’s the holiday season again.  Family gatherings. Family laughs. Family memories. Family arguments?

Every year I’m told of family holiday dinners that turn from festive to furious.

1 part travel madness

1 part panic gift purchasing

1 part explaining to the children that Santa WILL find Grandma’s house

1 part stress over rumoured office cut-backs

1 part Aunt Becky

Any of these, and for some, all of these, can dilute the 100 parts of Christmas joy. If your family gatherings have a history of flaming along with the pudding, try to be the one.

Be the one who suggests drawing names instead of buying 35 gifts.

Be the one who suggests a charitable donation instead of gifts.

Be the one who changes the topic when Uncle Fred goes off on his inevitable political rant.

Be the one who sits beside Aunt Becky and keeps the wine top-ups to a sane amount.

Be the one who diffuses simmering disputes before they become full-blown arguments.

Be the one who doesn’t respond when cousin Sal tries to push people’s buttons.

Be the one to remember why you have all gathered.

Be the one to express gratitude for what everyone has.

Be the one.

In desperation, volunteer to sit at the kiddie table.  Guaranteed you’ll have fun.

All set for the family.

Keeping It Simple

Is it about serving 15 different hot appetizers or enjoying time with your guests?  Usually, simple is best

• Please, thank you are simple words. Simple yet very effective.
• Excuse me  is another simple phrase, as is I’m sorry. Simple yet powerful.
• Simple lines in clothing are often more effective than lots of bows and ruffles.
• The Palace at Versailles is beautiful, but when it comes to interior design, I find it a little over-the-top.
• A single flower on a table can be as effective (more?) than a large bouquet.
• Haven’t we all approached a PowerPoint coma when viewing slides overloaded with information? A simple slide would probably have had a positive impact.
• When I surveyed people about comfort food for a blog a while ago, I received mashed potatoes, custard, ice cream, pasta responses. Simple food. Complicated recipes certainly have their place, but often, deceivingly simple has as much impact.

I’ve long kept things simple, especially at this hectic time of year.  I like to serve and take yummy treats to friends but without hours of prep and clean-up.  Here’s one of my favourites. A salty, sweet, crunchy combo that takes five minutes to make:

Sampling allowed.

1.       Place mini pretzels on a lined baking sheet.

2.       Top each mini pretzel with a Rolo. Yes, you have to unwrap them! But that’s the most involved part of this recipe.

3.       Pop into 350°F oven until Rolo is soft, not melted. About 3 minutes.

4.       Remove from oven and press a pecan half into each soft delight.

5.       Cool. Enjoy the salty, chocolaty, caramel, crunch.

Let me know if you make them – and how many were left to give away.

70 Years of Love

This weekend my family came together for a mile stone celebration; the 70^th wedding anniversary of my parents. Yes, seven-zero. Their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren all shared in the laughter, tears, love, and cake.

When I’ve mentioned 70^th to people over the past few weeks the response has often been a single word. Here are some:

• Amazing!
• WOW
• Inspiring
• Encouraging
• Remarkable
• Impressive
• Enviable

I certainly believe that the strength of the relationship is more important than the length, but when a couple has both, it’s a blessing.

 

“Call Me If You Need Anything”

We’ve all said it.  “Call me if you need anything.”  Most likely it was when a friend was facing a difficult time: grieving, illness, divorce, job loss, or any of the challenges that can overwhelm us.

We’ve all said it, and we’ve all meant it.  The offer is made with the sincerity, compassion, and friendship. Just reach out to me and I’ll be there.

Last week I asked a friend (A) about a dear friend (B) of hers.  Here’s the conversation:

ME: How is your friend B? You mentioned last month she was facing a difficult time.

A: Well, she must be doing OK.  I told her to call me if she needed me and she hasn’t so I guess things are coming along.

I can tell you’ve spotted the problem.  Most of the time the person in need won’t reach out.  Did you when fill in the blank happened? Probably not.  You stuck it out alone even though friends had told you to “Call me if you need anything.”

A few suggestions to reach out:

• Periodically call and suggest coffee/tea, a walk, an ear.
• Several weeks or months after the event, the person still needs
  

  Reach out.

  comfort. Pick up the phone.  That casserole may be even more appreciated and needed weeks later.

• Include their children in events when you take your own.
• Rephrase some questions. Instead of, “Do you need anything from the grocery store?”, try “I’m going to the grocery store, what can I pick up for you? Milk? Bread?”
• When you do call or visit, listen. This is not the time to one-up with your own sad stories.

What did a friend do for you that helped ease your challenge? What did you find of comfort?   Pass them along here. We all need to know more how to truly help each other, how to reach out.

10 Tips for Considerate Holiday Shopping

It’s that time of year again.  Shopping.  Also,’tis the season to be jolly.  To keep the jolly in shopping here are a few tips.  They are all based on recent observations.

The countdown begins; the tension increases.

1. If you really dislike shopping, the crowds, the music, then go early. Avoid weekends. You’ll only feel worse, and likely those around will feel your bad mood too, if you join the pushing throngs.
2. Practice good parking lot etiquette. Spaces are limited. Watch, signal, wait.  Be courteous. Shopping tension starts here.
3. Unless you have the store to yourself (highly unlikely) abandoning your shopping cart mid aisle to look at something else causes inconvenience to others.  Park it to the side of the aisle. Shopping tension increasing.
4. Stop to eat or drink. Eating or drinking while in a shop is rude. You ruin it, you buy it.
5. Stopping a shopping cart beside another means no one else can get through the aisle. More inconvenience.  More shopping tension.
6. If you change your mind about an item either return it to its proper place or give it to a sales clerk.  Realizing that wheel of brie is too high in calories and dropping it in the sock aisle is inconsiderate.
7. Cashiers have not taken a holiday pledge to work as slowly as possible. They are doing their best. The check-out lines are long, the children are getting restless, and you realize you should have worn your old, comfy shoes, but, none of that is the fault of the cashier.  A cheerful “hello” and a kind word can make a huge difference in the day of a harried worker. You’ll also feel better for being kind.
8. Small children have limited shopping endurance. For their sake, yours, and everyone else, don’t push those limits.
9. Return your shopping cart to the corral. We’ve all experienced the relief of finally finding a parking space only to realize that the previous occupant simply abandoned their shopping cart, blocking the entrance.
10. Stay hydrated, stay happy.

Here’s hoping you are able to keep the jolly in shopping this season. It starts with each of us.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Be Silly

My parents live in a lovely retirement residence. Recently a nasty bug was doing the rounds, necessitating shutting the doors to visitors and confining residents to their suites.

Absolutely necessary measures to contain this bug.  Necessary, but difficult for the elderly.  Physical contact with friends and family is crucial to well-being.

What to do?  My husband and I made the usual 2 ½ hour drive to see my folks.  We phoned them from the residence parking lot and told them to look out their window.  What did they see?  Frantic waving followed by the parking lot dance:

Three steps left, kick

Three steps right, kick.

Three steps forward, wave with the right hand, wave with left hand, wave with both.

Turn around and wiggle it all around.

Repeat.

Our cell phone, on the hood of our vehicle, was emanating hoots of laughter. My father, when he could speak without laughing, asked what neighbours would think.  Who cares?

Did we bring a smile to their faces?

Did we show them we care?

Did we have fun?

YES.

Sometimes you just gotta be silly.