The other day I met my friend for tea immediately after her gym session. She was fuming. If ranting could be a form of exercise she’d be an Olympic contender. Yes, she was that irritated by that annoying gym person. You know the one. Every gym has one. If you want to claim the honour, then this is how it’s done:
- Arrive late to group sessions and go directly to the front of the class, middle of the row. Yes, you’ll have the instructor directly in front of you, and it doesn’t matter if the entire class is shuffling around so they can see.
- When arriving late make sure everyone can hear you. Everyone will be interested in hearing about your rough day.
- Never wipe down the exercise equipment. Those signs aren’t really meant for you.
- Sit on the equipment long after you’ve finished using it. It’s your turn so everyone else can wait.
- Play your music loud enough that everyone can hear it. It’s called sharing.
- Wear tight, revealing exercise gear. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.
- Give unsolicited advice to others. You are helping them by giving them your instruction on how it should be done.
- Glare at people if they are using your favourite machine. They should know better!
- Stare at others as they work out. They will feel special.
- Talk on your cell phone. Why not? You have to catch up with your friends.
And always treat the change room like your personal bathroom.
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