Flip-Flops Are Not Shoes

detail of a businessman wearing flip-flops

When giving Business Etiquette workshops I’m often asked to touch on the topic of attire. I have a quick list of things that a professional would and wouldn’t wear. When I mention flip-flops (when I was growing up we called them thongs, but that has an entirely different meaning now!) I brace myself.

I simply state that flip-flops are not shoes. They are not part of professional attire unless one works at the beach or at public showers. Usually one person in each session crosses their arms, stares at me, and defiantly states that they have always worn flip-flops and will always wear them. Their body language tells me they won’t hear anything else I have to say on the matter.

After the sessions I usually have some less vocal participants stay behind to thank me for mentioning the inappropriateness of flip-flops in the workplace. They find them noisy and unprofessional in appearance. Some go as far as to say they are unsafe.

If your workplace has a dress code and states no flip-flops, then that is it. They are not part or your work wardrobe.

If your workplace doesn’t have a dress code then the decision is yours. It’s up to you. What impression do you want to make?

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Tipping. Do You Have To?

On a recent vacation in Central America we returned to our hotel just as a large group was checking in. I overheard a woman loudly proclaim, “I don’t tip anyone. They get paid for what they do.”

Wince. The ugly tourist strikes again.

I regularly present Business and Dining Etiquette workshops to newcomers to Canada. When talking about dining in a restaurant I always mention tipping. Someone in the group usually asks if they really have to tip. Of course there isn’t a law regarding tipping, but after I explain the reasons, I ask if any of their children are planning on part-time restaurant jobs during the summer. Once people, or their children, have been in the service industry they understand how tipping truly works.

This is not a blog post on who and how much to tip. That information is readily available. It is simply a statement that tipping is part of our culture and becoming part of many cultures.

  • In the service industry tips are assumed as part of earnings and salaries reflect this fact. The low hourly wage might shock some, especially tourists to other countries.

  • Tips are frequently shared among staff. Snubbing a slow waiter likely means depriving several others of anticipated income.

  • When travelling or dining out, be prepared to tip. Budget for it.

To the loud tourist in Central America, the tip you denied the porter was a fraction of the cost of your fancy umbrella drink. A small gesture on your part could make a significant difference in the life of someone else.

How to avoid being the ugly tourist?

  • Be aware. Know who and how much to tip before travelling.

  • Be prepared. Have small bills in your wallet ready to give.

  • Be sensitive. Give sincerely and discretely without being patronizing.

  • Be generous. Yes, you really do have much more than most of the world.

    bills ready to give

    bills ready to give

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Every Day Is a Special Day

Last week I was setting the table in preparation for my book club dinner. A spring dining table called for my mother’s silver flatware. She knew how much I loved handling the silver knives and forks as a child so passed them on to me.

I haven’t used them in a while so was struck again by the cartoon message she had tucked away in the corner of the box.silverware cartoon

It reminded me of a blog post I wrote five years ago, Use the Good Dishes. Now, because of a yellowed cartoon I’m adding, use the good flatware too. Every day is a special day. Thanks for the reminder, Mum.

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Selfies

Asian woman taking self portrait selfie photo on Europe travel.I’m going to come right out and say it: I think selfies are silly. There. I said it out loud.

I feel justified in saying it after Prince Harry told a group of admiring onlookers in Australia “…selfies are bad. Just take a normal photograph.” So, the dashing prince said what a lot of us have always thought.

  • Offer to take a photo for a stranger in front of that famous monument. They’ll likely offer to do the same for you.

  • Many museums and galleries have banned the taking of selfies, especially the use of selfie sticks. Think about it.

  • Distorted selfie faces are an insult to true photography. With that expensive phone or camera don’t you expect a quality photo?

  • Do you really want to appear that self-absorbed?

  • Your friends aren’t anxiously awaiting another fish face of you.

I concede, there may be the odd time when a taking a selfie is justified:

  • You’ve just made it to the North Pole and there isn’t anyone else to take your photograph leaning against the red and white striped pole.

  • You really want a lopsided photo of the Acropolis with your distorted head and massive hands in the foreground.

I could go on with the justification examples, but you get the picture.

I doubt the selfie phase will completely pass but it is diminishing. That’s something to smile about.

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Ten Reasons I Love My Friends

Many of us have a handful of people in our lives who are dear to us. They make us smile, let us cry, and give us a virtual slap when we need it.

Like most of you, mine is comprised of friends and family. Some are miles and oceans away. Here’s why I love them:

  1. They talk rather than text. Real conversations. No embarrassment if it’s been a while.

  2. They appreciate our differences as well as our similarities.

  3. They listen.Best friends - kitten and small fluffy dog looking sideways - co

  4. If they judge me they keep it to themselves.

  5. They seem happy to see or hear from me.

  6. They celebrate my successes.

  7. They grieve with me.

  8. They share. No secret family recipes.

  9. They remember.

  10. They tolerate my character flaws.

I hope I give them some of what they give to me.

I thank them.

Share what friendship means to you.

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Some Things Never Go Out of Style

I was watching my great-nephew play the other weekend. He has a box full of battery operated trucks, a DS, and the latest action figures from which to choose. What was he doing? Building airplanes with these:

Yes, TinkerToy. Remember them? These were his mother’s from when she was a child, way back when. With all the new, exciting things available, some things never go out of style:

COURTESY

PEARLS

VANILLA ICE CREAM AND HOT FUDGE

RESPECT

LINEN NAPKINS

BACH

FAMILY PORTRAITS

A LITTLE BLACK DRESS

GOOD MANNERS

What’s on your never go out of style list? Break out your carefully packed away TinkerToy (or equivalent) and tell us what you think.

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It’s More than February Fourteenth

Valentine’s Day is busy with flower deliveries and long line-ups at chocolate shops. Red and white hearts tell us that this is the day of love and romance.

I remember a Lynn Johnston cartoon (For Better or For Worse) of many years ago in which Elly remarks, Some men say it with car maintenance.

Yes, roses and chocolates are lovely. They are the symbols that have been created for us of love and caring. But love and caring are year long. February the fourteenth doesn’t have the monopoly on love and romance. It’s the little things, the things that happen every day, that really have the true meaning. If I had to decide between a box of dark chocolate truffles on February 14th and the following all year, guess which I’d choose?

  • A surprise cup of tea delivered to my desk.

  • Dinner under way when I’m late coming home.

  • An empty dishwasher.IMG_3673_2uca

  • Computer gremlins evicted.

  • The red jujubes set aside.

  • Knowing my vehicle is always ready for the road.

If anyone comes across the For Better or Worse cartoon I mentioned I hope you will share it. It had a powerful message. There are many ways to say I love you. And Valentine’s Day isn’t the only day to say it or show it.

Say and show I love you to someone today, not just February 14th. It doesn’t have to be a spouse or partner. Who is important in your life? Let them know. Any day. Today would be good.

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